So, there I am, opening the store for maurices when bam! A realization hit me. You know how when you're counting the money in for the drawer, your thoughts stray? Well, mine do at least. I get bored. Easy. So, the realization. I was contemplating what God was telling me about my career choices when a small voice started whispering inside of me (I DON'T hear voices. It was my rational subconcious. Don't whisper things about me.).

It said: "Look at your experience with your life thus far. What do you think God wants you to be? Who do you think God is steering you to become?"

I've already mentioned how there's been twelves signs in the recent past that I should become a pastor. God's been throwing them at me quite a bit. So, with that in mind, I took into account my job experience. I work at a nursing home. I'm literally people's only hope sometimes. I work in an environment where people die all of the time and depend on me to give them some sort of hope to get through the day. I counsel families and try to help them through their grieving process. I pray with those who become sick and won't get any better. I say the Lord's Prayer for those who won't ever be able to utter those words again on this plane.

At maurices, I've learned to make a connection with people. I know how to make people smile and become comfortable with me. I can make them feel like they can trust and know me within moments of meeting them. I can talk about just anything with them too. Bonus!

When I was thinking about this, I fully realized that these talents, these experiences, would be awesome to put into use as a pastor. As a Special agent? Mmmm... maybe. My instincts were telling me 'No' this morning.

But... that doesn't stop me from wanting to join the service. Man! I hate decisions!

Have you ever had a day you just know is going to be good? That you wake up and instantly feel relaxed? I'm having one of those days. Ah, let the fresh air soothe my soul!

Okay, there were a few blips, but there's always the occasional pothole in the road to life, right? Heck yeah! I went into maurices, breezed through the opening process like knife through butta (had to throw in a bit of a cool accent there. Mainly because I'm cool!) and intended to go to my meeting, then run far, far away to meet a friend for lunch. Negative on those plans! Apparently, the manager thinks I don't have a life outside of maurices and stole the ONLY person working on the floor to the back to chat. I was not a happy camper. I wasn't there to work! I was there to leave! It's my only day off, people! Yeesh!

So, after much prodding on my part, I finally made them realized that I did need to go and they needed to hurry. Then I got the schpeal on what was expected of me.

Turns out, the manager has a lot of expectations from me for the store. She just thinks that I'm going to be able to save it. I say that's a lot of pressure for a nineteen-year-old. I should have known! My taking on all of these things! Man oh man! Stress mania! I just have to treasure the little things in life. Like today!

Breathe in, Breathe out. I don't want to ever have to work again :D

I have the nuttiest friends in the world. Okay, perhaps a little less nutty than I, but nutty nonetheless. It's remarkable we all found each other. We make the perfect, most peculiar bunch you'll ever see!

There's me, the loud, quirky, curly head that isn't afraid to try anything once and can whine with the best of 'em. Like earlier today when I couldn't find my black necklace. THAT'S drama. I'm also known as the smartest of the group, but I think that depends on the day. Maybe I'm intelligent, but I definitely don't live up to my full potential ;) OR I could just be a fantastic manipulator. Like the Pretender! Seriously, I'm great at playing roles.

Then there's Lou. She's got the most incredible laugh of all laughs. How many people can say they wheeze?! It immediately makes everyone around her burst out laughing. And she's got enough wit to boot. I hate fighting with her. It's like the comeback challenge. I swear she spends nights writing down things to say about me the next time we fight. Okay, so maybe school isn't her forte, but damn if she isn't good at memorizing every single clothing piece someone wears or random movie lines!

Sami. She and I are so alike that it's scary. Same sarcastic sense of humor, same hatred for our jobs, which happen to be the same. Okay, so she's married to Tim, who happens to be awesome in his own right, and definitely had red hair, but I think she and I are soulmates. We both love shopping and we both happen to binge eat when supposed to be dieting. Sad day.

It's pretty sad but I don't much allow other people into the closest circle of friends around me. There've been people in my past that have been part of it, but no longer... the daughter of my Godchild... the one who I haven't spoken to in a year and a half...lots of random people that were at one point an integral part of my soul, of my support system, and are now... strangers to me.

It just goes to show that life never stays the same. In a few years, I'll have new friends, a new life, but I'll cherish every second I spend with these ladies.

Then there's my family, whom I'm caught up with in the eternal battle of debate. I love my parents, but they just don't seem like other parents. My roommate's parents cook for her, hang out with her. I get the occasional call from my father and my mother really wants me to have sex. Yowza. Kelsey and I have grown closer, but definitely hold different views on God. Ashton is so much like me that she annoys me. We're both loud, confident, easygoing, manipulative, conversational people. She just happens to be all pretty! Justin and I relate well on the basic levels. I'm his older sister and he looks up to me. I've been playing the maternal role for him for 12 years. He digs it.

I've learned not to be ashamed of my family or wish for something more. Hi, I'm Whitney and my parents are atheists. Yes, it's a huge part of our relationship, but it isn't all there is. I still love my parents. They're just unique. Just like me. Different. But at least I can be happy with different :D

4th of July was rough. Way rough. I'm calming my soul right now with a lot of music. Seriously, iTunes is rocking my world. Sometimes you just have to sit back and let the lyrics speak to you... better than one of my alternate personalities, I say.

I ... can't... think...

"Down In Mississippi (Up To No Good)"

Friday, payday, Lordy got to get away
Had it with the wife thing, living on a shoe string
What's a poor girl got to do just to have some fun?
All these years without any help
Guess what, honey, clothes just don't wash themselves!
Neither do dishes, neither does the bathroom floor

So, now if anyone asks, not that they would
I'll be down in Mississippi and up to no good

No more, what a bore, had enough, I'm out the door
Headed for a breakdown, had it with the small town
Gonna call Lisa, gonna call Carla Sue
Now we're gonna let it roll, gonna let it rip
Gonna get us a nice room down on the strip
Not that we'll need it, there won't be any sleepin' tonight

So, now if anyone asks, not that they would
We'll be down in Mississippi and up to no good

Hammer down, here we go
Runnin' for the riverboat
All you're gonna see is asses and elbows
Luck's about to change for these three queens
Tired of getting' jokers, deal us up kings

Snake eyes, roll the dice, double down and hit me twice
Cashin' in the big chips, gonna leave a big tip
Hotter than a two dollar pistol, baby, I'm on fire

So, now if anyone asks, not that they would
I'll be down in Mississippi and up to no good
If anyone asks, not that they would
I'll be down in Mississippi and up to no good