Yesterday was a bad day. Ever feel like your head is detached from your body? Like you are completely immersed within yourself and no matter how hard you scream, no one hears you? I felt trapped in my own head, yesterday. Even my friends kept commenting on how withdrawn I seemed. But I couldn't help it. Apparently, it was a day for contemplation. I hated it.

I woke up early (well, early for a normal teen. My 4:30 a.m. wake-ups for work make 8 a.m. wake up a breeze) and watched a little TV. I already knew that I was going to have problems by the fog that seemed to settle in my brain. Off I went to my friend who is in beauty school. She and I spent two hours redoing my hair and I don't think I said ten words. I just couldn't bring myself to be social! All I could do was keep thinking about everything... over and over and over again.

It sure as heck didn't help that I was limping everywhere either. If you've never had a sciatic nerve pinched, consider yourself blessed. The pain was at a 5 the entire time and I felt like crying. It was so back my stomach was constantly upset! Even Ibuprofen didn't touch it. I was a miserable girl. When I meet with the doc in a week and a half, I'm going to inquire into the spinal surgery. I'm tired of dealing with this.

Anyhow, got my hair done and my friend thought I was mad at her. Not mad, just confused by a lot of things. I was still caught up in what was going to become of my life. And then I got all miffed because for a few brilliant seconds I thought I was being called to be a revolutionary. To make waves in an area that not a lot are making them. And boy was I not happy with that!

In the end, it would be far easier for me to go into the Air Force. It's what my family wants, what society wants, and certainly isn't counter to what I want. It's too exhausting already to even talk about seminary and I haven't even graduated from college yet! Boo.