Frustrating family situations!
So, I went over to my parents house to visit with my Aunt for awhile. She's only twelve years older and feels more like a big sis than my mother's sister. Unfortunately, any plans to discuss anything in depth were nixed when my Dad decided it was a good tax night. Why, oh why, do people have to do things when I'm there? Seriously! I told him over THREE months ago that we needed to get them done before now. But, no, he's got to do them. To make matters worse, my best friend of 16 years (and my first cousin) came over to the house. She lives with my Grandparents just up the road. Ordinarily, I would have loved to see here, but I was just SO tired that all I wanted to do was go to sleep. God had other plans for me!
She pulled me aside and started talking about her encounter with my Grandfather the night before. (It was her first night at the house). My Grandfather is a heavy alcoholic who has tendancies to get mean and violent when drinking. This was the first time she had been exposed to it and she was completely at a loss as to how to react. What makes me mad is that her mother (my Dad's sister) refuses to talk about the situation. I suppose in her mind it'll all go away if she doesn't speak of it. So, a few years ago, *I* was the one who had to tell Megs about our Grandpa. I've had many encounters with him before, so his being drunk doesn't really bother me. I used to work at the bar he got into fights in... I've driven him home at least twice. It's one of those dirty family secrets that you're not supposed to talk about. But I'm of the strong opinion that the truth sets you free. You can imagine how that may not make me popular in my family!
Anyhow, Meg was completely innocent of any worrying coming into the situation. But, lo and behold, Grandpa strolls in last night and completely ruins his relationship with her. Meg lost her fiance` in Iraq in May 2004. It's been a long hard road for her, but she's carrying on the best she can. So when my Grandfather told her that he had been in a war and had seen lots of action and knew that they just left bodies off the side of the road and don't care, well that was too much. He further went in by saying that it probably had been the same with her fiance`. My Grandfather told her that the person she loved more than anyone in the world had been forgotten and regarded as nothing more than a piece of trash. I spoke to her at length trying to repair the damage that he had done. For all of you that choose to drink: stay away from the people you love. Even if you are just acting 'stupid' you can still affect them profoundly.
Megs and I have always been a bit more opposite than similar. We both LOVE to have fun and are loud, but she's far more reserved than I am. I'm the typical confident and independent 19-year-old and she's the sheltered, dependent 21-year-old. Sometimes it feels like I'm her older sister, but I absolutely adore taking care of her. It's what family is supposed to do for one another ideally. With my Grandpa up at the house, Meg didn't want to go back alone, so we hung out at my parents' home. She admitted that she hadn't done her taxes yet, and I being the Accounting major agreed to do them for her. We spent the next hour and a half doing her Federal and State returns while I attempted to do my best to counsel her. The biggest problem is that Megan fell majorly away from God when Kyle died. You can't force a person to believe in God, which was exactly what her parents tried to do. What they still try to do. So, when I told her that I was thinking about going into ministry, it was almost like a little light shining through. She admitted that her relationship was shaky with God right now, but she thought it was getting better. I remarked a bit on some scripture, then asked her what was holding her back. Apparently, her parents have got this mindset that one has to go to church to be a good Christian.
A deep breath and a few head bashings later, I temporarily departed my sorting documents to assure her that going to church made people about as much of a Christian as going to McDonald's made people hamburgers. Apparently, that rung a chord with her! She repeated it a few times and started smiling. I'm hoping that she's made the step in the right direction.
What little I did speak with my Aunt provided good insight for my future. She told me that getting a degree in family and child counseling was a HUGE need in the Air Force, to which I responded that I didn't know if I was going military anymore. After the brief explanation that followed, I considered that getting a family and child counseling graduate degree wouldn't be a bad idea for ministry. Especially since I want to be involved in people's lives. I want to be able to help them and apply their belief in God past just attending church. It should be a way of life!
That was about all the further we could explore. Between helping the parents make supper, fighting off my sisters' demands to go shopping, and listening to my brother talk about his PSP, I was torn in a bagillion directions. Not too mention the fact that my Dad still had tax stuff to get done. Needless to say, I had planned on leaving the house at 7 and ended up scooting out at 10:45. Not condusive with the sleep I was planning on getting tonight, but oh well. I think in the long-run it was more important for me to accompany Meg up to our Grandparents house to make sure Grandpa stayed in fine shape than to get an extra hour of sleep.
In my semi-dreamy state right now, I'm of the opinion that sleep is overrated anyway. If I choose to explore what it means to be a minister, I need to consider what it means to be in service constantly. Tonight was a good night to do so!
Both of my parents do know about my theological thoughts as of late. And neither are supportive. My father laughed at the idea and told me I would not do well in that role. He said I'd better stick with the military and do what I'm good at: Accounting. My mother HATES the military, but apparently isn't up for ministry either. She is convinced I would fail miserably doing that. Wouldn't challenge me enough or something. I will admit that she did listen pretty well when I was talking about wanting to be a good support for families when I got into it. She even asked some intelligent questions about whether I could do ministry in LCMS and where I would convert to instead. I think the biggest problem with my parents is that they can't grasp what it means to turn your entire life over to God. It's a vague and uncomfortable topic for those who believe he doesn't exist.
If I accomplished nothing more than being a good daughter, cousin, friend, sister, niece, or general person tonight then I'm grateful for the opportunity. I just wish God would add a few hours in the day for me to get my coursework done!
Peace. Out.
So, I went over to my parents house to visit with my Aunt for awhile. She's only twelve years older and feels more like a big sis than my mother's sister. Unfortunately, any plans to discuss anything in depth were nixed when my Dad decided it was a good tax night. Why, oh why, do people have to do things when I'm there? Seriously! I told him over THREE months ago that we needed to get them done before now. But, no, he's got to do them. To make matters worse, my best friend of 16 years (and my first cousin) came over to the house. She lives with my Grandparents just up the road. Ordinarily, I would have loved to see here, but I was just SO tired that all I wanted to do was go to sleep. God had other plans for me!
She pulled me aside and started talking about her encounter with my Grandfather the night before. (It was her first night at the house). My Grandfather is a heavy alcoholic who has tendancies to get mean and violent when drinking. This was the first time she had been exposed to it and she was completely at a loss as to how to react. What makes me mad is that her mother (my Dad's sister) refuses to talk about the situation. I suppose in her mind it'll all go away if she doesn't speak of it. So, a few years ago, *I* was the one who had to tell Megs about our Grandpa. I've had many encounters with him before, so his being drunk doesn't really bother me. I used to work at the bar he got into fights in... I've driven him home at least twice. It's one of those dirty family secrets that you're not supposed to talk about. But I'm of the strong opinion that the truth sets you free. You can imagine how that may not make me popular in my family!
Anyhow, Meg was completely innocent of any worrying coming into the situation. But, lo and behold, Grandpa strolls in last night and completely ruins his relationship with her. Meg lost her fiance` in Iraq in May 2004. It's been a long hard road for her, but she's carrying on the best she can. So when my Grandfather told her that he had been in a war and had seen lots of action and knew that they just left bodies off the side of the road and don't care, well that was too much. He further went in by saying that it probably had been the same with her fiance`. My Grandfather told her that the person she loved more than anyone in the world had been forgotten and regarded as nothing more than a piece of trash. I spoke to her at length trying to repair the damage that he had done. For all of you that choose to drink: stay away from the people you love. Even if you are just acting 'stupid' you can still affect them profoundly.
Megs and I have always been a bit more opposite than similar. We both LOVE to have fun and are loud, but she's far more reserved than I am. I'm the typical confident and independent 19-year-old and she's the sheltered, dependent 21-year-old. Sometimes it feels like I'm her older sister, but I absolutely adore taking care of her. It's what family is supposed to do for one another ideally. With my Grandpa up at the house, Meg didn't want to go back alone, so we hung out at my parents' home. She admitted that she hadn't done her taxes yet, and I being the Accounting major agreed to do them for her. We spent the next hour and a half doing her Federal and State returns while I attempted to do my best to counsel her. The biggest problem is that Megan fell majorly away from God when Kyle died. You can't force a person to believe in God, which was exactly what her parents tried to do. What they still try to do. So, when I told her that I was thinking about going into ministry, it was almost like a little light shining through. She admitted that her relationship was shaky with God right now, but she thought it was getting better. I remarked a bit on some scripture, then asked her what was holding her back. Apparently, her parents have got this mindset that one has to go to church to be a good Christian.
A deep breath and a few head bashings later, I temporarily departed my sorting documents to assure her that going to church made people about as much of a Christian as going to McDonald's made people hamburgers. Apparently, that rung a chord with her! She repeated it a few times and started smiling. I'm hoping that she's made the step in the right direction.
What little I did speak with my Aunt provided good insight for my future. She told me that getting a degree in family and child counseling was a HUGE need in the Air Force, to which I responded that I didn't know if I was going military anymore. After the brief explanation that followed, I considered that getting a family and child counseling graduate degree wouldn't be a bad idea for ministry. Especially since I want to be involved in people's lives. I want to be able to help them and apply their belief in God past just attending church. It should be a way of life!
That was about all the further we could explore. Between helping the parents make supper, fighting off my sisters' demands to go shopping, and listening to my brother talk about his PSP, I was torn in a bagillion directions. Not too mention the fact that my Dad still had tax stuff to get done. Needless to say, I had planned on leaving the house at 7 and ended up scooting out at 10:45. Not condusive with the sleep I was planning on getting tonight, but oh well. I think in the long-run it was more important for me to accompany Meg up to our Grandparents house to make sure Grandpa stayed in fine shape than to get an extra hour of sleep.
In my semi-dreamy state right now, I'm of the opinion that sleep is overrated anyway. If I choose to explore what it means to be a minister, I need to consider what it means to be in service constantly. Tonight was a good night to do so!
Both of my parents do know about my theological thoughts as of late. And neither are supportive. My father laughed at the idea and told me I would not do well in that role. He said I'd better stick with the military and do what I'm good at: Accounting. My mother HATES the military, but apparently isn't up for ministry either. She is convinced I would fail miserably doing that. Wouldn't challenge me enough or something. I will admit that she did listen pretty well when I was talking about wanting to be a good support for families when I got into it. She even asked some intelligent questions about whether I could do ministry in LCMS and where I would convert to instead. I think the biggest problem with my parents is that they can't grasp what it means to turn your entire life over to God. It's a vague and uncomfortable topic for those who believe he doesn't exist.
If I accomplished nothing more than being a good daughter, cousin, friend, sister, niece, or general person tonight then I'm grateful for the opportunity. I just wish God would add a few hours in the day for me to get my coursework done!
Peace. Out.
posted by Whit at 9:15 PM
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