Holy wow! This thing is addicting! Parents: Don't allow your children to blog. They will constantly be at the computer and will have the unfortunate result of building up their writing skills and enhancing their vocabulary. Other side effects may include, but are not limited to: forming of their own opinions, an improvement of their knowledge of the world today, and sadly an expanding of their knowledge in computers.
So, let's discuss a little bit my theological ponderings as of literally the last 12 hours. At some point between studying Revenue Recognition and learning the innerworkings of the tax system, I came to the realization that my life was about to profoundly change in the form of where I'm at theologically. The last week has been incredibly hard on me. Incredibly. And yes, there's still a long and arduous road ahead. I have no misconceptions to the otherwise. But, I'm at least content in the fact that I've moved forward in what I believe.
Right now, what I'm focusing on is what it means to be called to ministry and the exploration of that therein. I think it's often times easy to confuse a passion and following for Christ as a call to be the head of a church and influence the followers of God. This is a great responsibility and a process that has to be ever-evolving. When I was in high school, I accidentally said out loud that I wanted to be in a ministarily position. Note to all you other LCMSers, not a good idea. Not a good one at all. Basically, I was told I was going to hell and I'd better look for other careers. My own awkward retaliation was to plan on going into the military and then into the FBI. That still may happen, don't get me wrong, but I think it amusing now to reflect on the strong emphases these careers place on masculinity when I was fighting against not being able to be head of a church.
Anyhow, you get an idea of where I was at it terms of this calling that I had wanted to do. Last week, after my meeting with Trace, I was suddenly at that place again where it was a possibility. But this time, when I said it out loud, it wasn't rejected and immediately eliminated from consideration. This time I got the surprise of my life when there was overwhelming support for me to pursue ministry. So, considering this, I began to further dwell on this possible calling. If the Holy Spirit is telling you strongly that you need to be something, you probably should listen. The Holy Spirit doesn't generally just mess with people for fun!
So, here I was, drawing up my pros and cons list. The biggest problem was here was the list of cons coming from my church and the community surrounding it, a community that contains a ton of people I love and adore. This community is one I have grown up with and learned to trust without fail. So, here are the cons laid out, albeit perhaps faultingly, but with supporting evidence to express their beliefs. Yes, the evidence is up for interpretation, but it is still evidence nonetheless. One has to consider the matter of church tradition and the sayings in the Epistles. The pros list was rather dismal. Yes, I've gotten overwhelming support for my ponderings on this career choice, but there's never been strong evidence as to why people think I'm called to it. All that was on my pros list for a long time was "because you'd be good at it." Fantastic. I'd be good at it. But in the grand scheme of things, I could probably be good at being an Officer in the Air Force, too. So, what should make me choose a career or ministry over a career of Law Enforcement?
That was what was tearing me down every time I happened upon this internal debate. Yes, maybe I wanted to be a minister, but was this right of me to want to do? When there was so many things pushing me to NOT be a minister, did I really want to go against them?
I'm now at the point where I've begun this more informed decision-making process. If I were in the bottom of the abyss before, I've crawled up to a ledge where I can at least see the sunlight. This abyss though, as in all things that are magnificently entailed with God, is HUGE. And it's going to take awhile before I can fully be out of it. That's okay with me, though. Completely okay. I think if this is what I were destined to do, then the fight to get there is going to be worth it in the end. Watch out world. Here's a girl on a mission!
In honor of Maunday Thursday and in celebration of the holy week, check out John 13. Pay special attention to verse 5. What's this about? Maunday Thursday is the day in the old church when the feet of the poor would be washed by church elders. John 13 contains the absolutely AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL story of Jesus washing the feet of the disciples. If you've never taken part in a foot-washing experience before, you should consider doing it. Yes, it's disgusting and yes it's not fun, but it's the most humbling experience you'll have in awhile. It will make you look objectively at a lot of things and you'll be glad for it!
So, let's discuss a little bit my theological ponderings as of literally the last 12 hours. At some point between studying Revenue Recognition and learning the innerworkings of the tax system, I came to the realization that my life was about to profoundly change in the form of where I'm at theologically. The last week has been incredibly hard on me. Incredibly. And yes, there's still a long and arduous road ahead. I have no misconceptions to the otherwise. But, I'm at least content in the fact that I've moved forward in what I believe.
Right now, what I'm focusing on is what it means to be called to ministry and the exploration of that therein. I think it's often times easy to confuse a passion and following for Christ as a call to be the head of a church and influence the followers of God. This is a great responsibility and a process that has to be ever-evolving. When I was in high school, I accidentally said out loud that I wanted to be in a ministarily position. Note to all you other LCMSers, not a good idea. Not a good one at all. Basically, I was told I was going to hell and I'd better look for other careers. My own awkward retaliation was to plan on going into the military and then into the FBI. That still may happen, don't get me wrong, but I think it amusing now to reflect on the strong emphases these careers place on masculinity when I was fighting against not being able to be head of a church.
Anyhow, you get an idea of where I was at it terms of this calling that I had wanted to do. Last week, after my meeting with Trace, I was suddenly at that place again where it was a possibility. But this time, when I said it out loud, it wasn't rejected and immediately eliminated from consideration. This time I got the surprise of my life when there was overwhelming support for me to pursue ministry. So, considering this, I began to further dwell on this possible calling. If the Holy Spirit is telling you strongly that you need to be something, you probably should listen. The Holy Spirit doesn't generally just mess with people for fun!
So, here I was, drawing up my pros and cons list. The biggest problem was here was the list of cons coming from my church and the community surrounding it, a community that contains a ton of people I love and adore. This community is one I have grown up with and learned to trust without fail. So, here are the cons laid out, albeit perhaps faultingly, but with supporting evidence to express their beliefs. Yes, the evidence is up for interpretation, but it is still evidence nonetheless. One has to consider the matter of church tradition and the sayings in the Epistles. The pros list was rather dismal. Yes, I've gotten overwhelming support for my ponderings on this career choice, but there's never been strong evidence as to why people think I'm called to it. All that was on my pros list for a long time was "because you'd be good at it." Fantastic. I'd be good at it. But in the grand scheme of things, I could probably be good at being an Officer in the Air Force, too. So, what should make me choose a career or ministry over a career of Law Enforcement?
That was what was tearing me down every time I happened upon this internal debate. Yes, maybe I wanted to be a minister, but was this right of me to want to do? When there was so many things pushing me to NOT be a minister, did I really want to go against them?
I'm now at the point where I've begun this more informed decision-making process. If I were in the bottom of the abyss before, I've crawled up to a ledge where I can at least see the sunlight. This abyss though, as in all things that are magnificently entailed with God, is HUGE. And it's going to take awhile before I can fully be out of it. That's okay with me, though. Completely okay. I think if this is what I were destined to do, then the fight to get there is going to be worth it in the end. Watch out world. Here's a girl on a mission!
In honor of Maunday Thursday and in celebration of the holy week, check out John 13. Pay special attention to verse 5. What's this about? Maunday Thursday is the day in the old church when the feet of the poor would be washed by church elders. John 13 contains the absolutely AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL story of Jesus washing the feet of the disciples. If you've never taken part in a foot-washing experience before, you should consider doing it. Yes, it's disgusting and yes it's not fun, but it's the most humbling experience you'll have in awhile. It will make you look objectively at a lot of things and you'll be glad for it!
posted by Whit at 9:35 AM
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